Journal Entry November 18, 1986: I may be needing to get a new job-which would mean “leaving” Tacoma, and Marshall. I always thought I shouldn’t plan my life around a guy unless it was for marriage, but Marshall hasn’t asked me-so there are no guarantees except for what I felt in prayer that one night. Tonight I felt so concerned, so confused and a bit depressed. I got on my knees and poured out my heart, fears and worries in prayer. And then, for just a second or so, I felt this wonderful assurance that yes, indeed I needed to act with assurance with faith on the answered I received to my previous prayers. I just felt so much love from my Heavenly Father. Then the feeling was gone. I know that I must act on faith. . .
Our second date. We were in your little grey Chirico car and you were trying to describe your home town to me. You said something of lakes, and parks and showed me the Michigan Mitten on your hand. I was not really “seeing” what you were trying to describe so you pulled over the car and opened your glove box. You pulled out several maps, and found the one you wanted. You carefully unfolded your map and said, “See? Here is Detroit, and here is Lansing, and right here is Jackson. This little blue spot here is Vandercook Lake and my house would be riiiiiight here.” You pointed to something. I looked at your map, and I looked at your finger, and my heart dropped. I felt empty and alone. Suddenly, you were a thousand miles away at a place I have never been to, a place that was such a huge part of your life, and yet I was not a part of that place. You were not a part of me. I was not a part of you. I was just a small moment in a big life and this moment would pass, your life would pass, possibly without me in it. Me. Just a passing memory. I knew then that I was falling in love.
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