First Hug (At The Airport)

Journal Entry December 8, 1986: Marshall and I are engaged. I am so happy. I know he loves me. When we said good-bye tonight he said in such a beautiful and loving way, “I have so much to be thankful for.”

It is funny now, looking back, to see how slowly and timidly the physical contact between us developed. We had been engaged for nearly 4 weeks. You asked me to marry you, I said yes, and a few days later you were off to Jackson, Michigan for 3 weeks of leave from the Army. We barely knew each other, we only went on maybe 3 dates, we never held hands, or cuddled, or even brushed up against each other. I didn’t miss your warm embrace, your gentle caresses, your sweet snuggles, because we never had those things in the first place. I was basically just bored while you were gone during those weeks because I couldn’t date anyone else, and I was pretty sure you didn’t really miss me either. So what was I to do? Should I go running up to you, tears streaming down my face and jump into your arms where we would express our undying love and terrible pain at being apart for those few weeks? No, we would not do that. I would just smile, and sweetly say “Welcome Home.” I had on my best casual clothes, and spent extra time on my hair and make-up. (First impressions for a second time) I stood tall and as confident, (ok, “proud”) as I could and proceeded to walk to the airport gate. It was late at night. The lights in the airport were dim because it was so late. There were no other people in the great hallway I was walking down and my steps echoed on the walls and off the ceiling. Then I saw you. Your plane was a little early and you were coming to meet me. My heart stopped. “Will he love me still?” I wondered. I slowed my step and tried to read your thoughts and calm my heart. “Just calmly walk up and say, ‘welcome home’” I kept telling myself. You smiled, your perfect teeth shining through your gently curved lips. Your eyes softened, your shoulders, always up tight and straight suddenly relaxed and you cocked your head to one side. We walked toward each other, just silently looking at each other. I thought “My, how handsome he is.” I walked up next to you and without a word you placed your arm around me, you hugged me and held me, and warmed me through, deep into my soul. You were home, with me. I was where I wanted to be, and that was with you, my friend, my soul-mate, my Marshall. “Welcome Home” I softly whispered, and you just smiled, and we walked arm in arm down that long, quiet hallway in a silent embrace.